I felt it. I felt what he did to you today.
I was there with you.
I ached with your fear, your confusion.
Unprovoked and without warning, he pinned you by your throat to the truck seat just as you reached for the door handle. That look he bestowed upon you while you numbly sat, stunned in shock. The sick pleasure he seized from scaring and intimidating you. A few voiceless moments later, he released you not once explaining why he did it or that it had even happened. Shaken and confused you went home. You didn’t tell anyone what had happened, fearful they wouldn’t believe you. Please listen.
I. Believe. You.
I was there. You are not alone. If there is one thing you take away from this letter… please understand that what he did to you was never your fault! There was nothing you could have done to expect or deserve that kind of treatment. Subconsciously, you already sense something isn’t right:
- He seems to possess a callous disregard for everyone. You can’t think of one person he appears to respect, not even his parents or teachers. It’s like he sees everyone as being there to serve him and only him. Everyone is beneath him and he isn’t afraid to let it be known. He even made you sit at his feet, petting you on the head like a dog while calling you a “good girl”. He demeans you as a way to control you.
- He insults you regularly, that you’re fat when you’re already on the verge of anorexia. He actually told you he doesn’t like anything about you – the way you dress, the way you talk, the way you do your hair. He wants you to feel so horrible about yourself that you will feel grateful that he pays any attention to you and will do anything he says.
- He doesn’t approve of your friends and is visibly upset when you’re with them. What better way to control you than to isolate you.
- He tells you your opinions are stupid unless they match his verbatim. He’s trying to remake you into what HE thinks you should be. How dare you be your own person.
- His arrogance seems to know no bounds. He brags to anyone who listens how smart he is and how perfect he is in every way. He doesn’t let you forget it.
- The scary-as-hell risks he takes are oh-so dangerous. He nearly died right before your eyes that one day at the river. He drives recklessly ending up in the ditch more than once. Thankfully you had your seat belt on each time.
He does all this so that he can control and dominate you. He wants you to be afraid of him. He wants your complete and utter obedience. It makes him feel powerful when deep down inside he is extremely insecure.
Your gut instinct about him is right – he is not safe. Please don’t doubt your instincts despite what he says.
Sadly, it won’t be the last time he intimidates or threatens you. You will find the strength and courage to get away from him. I will help you.
I am the voice inside you. The one you feel cheering you on when all you want to do is give up. I won’t let you give up. I know it’s hard. It is part of your journey. You will make it. There is always hope, even in the darkest of times. Together we will light the way.